There is a new parenting trend sweeping America. Forget about working moms or even soccer moms. The new moms want it all and they are causing and uproar among some psychologists, child development specialists, and the more conservative parents. 

 

The new mothers call themselves ‘Mommies Who Drink’, after the title of a book by Brett Paesel, a California writer who urges mothers not to sacrifice their lives to child-rearing. However they are better known as ‘Martini Moms’ since their cocktail of choice is the “Momtini” — a potent Martini designed to make mothers feel better about the hours they are obliged to spend responsibly sober. 

 

Increasing numbers of bored frustrated mothers are holding cocktail swilling play groups, or turning the Little league football and baseball matches into drink driven parties. Not only this. They are flaunting these events as a sign of their liberation from domestication and eighteen hour a day workloads. - But it is not all happy hours. 

 

The Martini Moms are receiving all kinds of criticism from the guardians of America’s political correctness, who demand that no one should partake of alcohol anywhere near those under the legal drinking age.  The Martini Moms are also being warned of the dangers of alcoholism and the risk to children of mommy driving while under the influence. Many moral minded mothers are also concerned that their offspring will be corrupted by seeing the Chablis chugging, chummy mummies. But the Martini Moms are fighting back.

 

Martini Moms argue that they are not getting wasted, and that the drink is a symbol that they haven’t completely let go of who they are, and haven’t let their kids overrun their lives entirely.”  They say they are a long overdue reaction against “helicopter” parenting — over-protective parents who hover over every phase of their children’s lives.

 

Christie Mellor, the author of the book ‘The Three-Martini Playdate’ says, “There is no guilt in craving social situations that aren’t wholly centred around everyone’s children.”  Other mothers argue that if this were a bunch of dads watching their children at the park, or baseball field, or at the lake fishing, not a word would be said about them drinking.  These moms argue that it is simply sexist to complain about a woman having a drink while watching the children.  

 

Of course, it is all a media driven hype designed to sell books and magazines. Parents, men and women, have been drinking in front of their children for centuries and in many cultures the children join in. The glass of wine with dinner is how the French and Italians teach their children responsible drinking.  What it is indicative of, is the isolation of the stay-at-home mums in a society where the extended family is fast disappearing and childless female school friends are often  working twelve hours a day.

 

The problem is very real and in the USA and in the UK Schools are introducing Community Schools that involve the mums in all sorts of activities with their child and also with their neighbours. As isolated stay-at-home mums increase these schools offer many constructive alternatives to the three martini playdate. -  Communal cook-ins, evening classes, sports fun days involving the children, parents, and grand parents, and a host community and family based activities.

 

Now if we could only find an alternative for the fathers and their nightly pegs…